Undercounted Sassy

For those slighted by the “new math” that the frat-boys are using…

NPH on the ‘Street! August 12, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Count Sassy @ 8:24 pm

Sesame Street, to be more accurate.  Is it any wonder that I love this gay man?

And I know, it’s been a while since we’ve talked.  Can we just pretend it never happened?


Dude, I so know where you’re going with this February 4, 2008

Filed under: dating,Knitting — Count Sassy @ 10:10 pm

If you’re going to comment about the beautiliciousness of my face, you need to say something remarkable about the gorgeity of my eyes.  Sure, my lips are nice and all, but I know what path you’re heading down if that’s the compliment you’re paying me at the end of the evening…

Oh, and more importantly, my box (get your mind out of the gutter) has been resurrected from my trunk!  And the Harmonies appear unscathed, but I probably need to cast on a couple of projects to be sure.

And I have plenty of FOs to share, as soon as I find my card-transfer-thingy for my camera.


It’s a small world after all January 16, 2008

Filed under: dating — Count Sassy @ 11:30 pm

I think that some of these might be telling me to take myself out of the meat market. Or maybe I should spend some time on the disabled list.

  • Was approached last week by a guy that turned out to be the twin brother of a someone I dated last fall (in my defense, last week’s brother is a good 50 pounds lighter and they aren’t identical). Talk about awkward.
  • I got stood up. On a weekend night. This is why I normally schedule first dates for a weeknight.
  • Some guys apparently think it proper dating technique to make proposals for sex during their first conversation with me. This week, it includes:
    • “hello i like ur profile when can i tap that sexy ass of yours.”
    • “even though i can’t see it in ur pic, i can tell u have a great ass” (Sure, I do, but how does this guy know it? Is there some other anatomy rule like the one about your foot being the length of the inside of your arm?)
    • “can i get me somma that ass?”
    • “i wanna be naughty with you” (I have feeling he didn’t mean attempting to bribe someone into kitchenering your mitten tops – I am guilty of that.)
  • And from someone that I had been talking to for a while, an offer for a threesome with two guys, since he just wants to make me happy. Sure, it’s sweet that he’s thinking of me, but I just didn’t know what to say. Uh, thanks?
  • When I told a 44-year-old (he’s the same age as my step-dad) I wasn’t interested in dating, he replied that was fine, but he could give me “maybe a nice warm hug from time to tiem[sic] cause i do love to give those.” Come on. We all know Ari is the only one who wants to “hug it out. I’m such the E.
  • And a plethora of misunderstandings due to either sarcasm or using 7-letter, high point value words in daily conversation. For example:
    • Not-so-bright-guy: what you up to tonight
    • me: just got home from a massage – heading to bed soon. how about you?
    • nsbg: togoing [sic – just keeping it real] to bed soon too. No massage. Could use one.
    • me: if that’s a thinly veiled innuendo, i’m not biting – it’s a little too early for that!
    • nsbg: huh ok, you just lost me. next subject

On how I’m not a good writer… January 15, 2008

Filed under: Medical drama — Count Sassy @ 8:22 pm

Julia is. I struggle to explain my fibro to many of you who ask, and she captures it. We’ve not always shared the same treatment journey (not really treating, but coping), but right now…

Oddly enough, this week I’m supposed to be detoxing on Elavil for similar reasons, but I decided after today’s unrelenting headache it just isn’t worth it. Last week, I was the ice’s bitch three times in the same day and visited a new rheumatologist who is bat-shit crazy. That’s enough for me. I’ll try again next week.

[ETA: I’m not saying in any way my pain is as severe or lasting as she’s experienced.  Just that I’m trying to get off a drug that I’ve been on for a decade, that’s all.]


Things I’ve learned January 2, 2008

Filed under: Medical drama,misc,saint paul — Count Sassy @ 6:58 pm

In a particular order, some of the things I’ve learned today:

1.  The thermometer in my vehicle does, in fact, register negative Fahrenheit temperatures.

2.  Despite my numerous assurances to the contrary, the Twin Cities do accumulate ice on some paved surfaces.

3.  It is too damn cold to be icing my knee.  (And with that, I have officially broken my New Year’s resolution to stop cursing – though, to be accurate, I probably broke it earlier in the day.)


I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you… December 27, 2007

Filed under: friends & family,television — Count Sassy @ 11:25 pm

(Now you have that damn commercial in your head, don’t you?  The artist’s voice has been haunting me for days.)

The boy that I’m falling for is so dreamy.  I worry that his fascination with me will be short-lived, because even though he enjoys staring at my loveliness, it’s probably just that I resemble his mama.


And thus, I am no longer a meme-virgin… December 19, 2007

Filed under: friends & family — Count Sassy @ 10:26 pm

Rachel tagged me for a Christmas meme. I’ll get to that in a bit. Instead of spending my time tonight packing, I watched Clash of the Choirs. At the risk of losing some more friends with this (apparently I’m really good at that lately)…I watched it for ex-Mrs. Jessica Simpson.

Sure, Nick is pretty on the eyes, but I knew he was singing one of his songs with the choir he’s directing. One of the songs I’ve seen performed live. It kinda brought me to tears, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t due to his vocal stylings. For my sister’s last birthday, I gave her tickets to one of his poorly-attended concerts. Pretty unremarkable as far as live music goes, the piece that still tugs at my heart was how ecstatic-over-the-top-excited my sister was just to be there (this is the 29-year-old, not the 13-year-old). I’m not embarrassed to say I enjoyed the concert, because without even realizing it, she gave me the best gift by being happier at that moment than I’ve ever seen her. A different kind of the happy that made me cry at her wedding and nothing close to the despair I felt while sitting on a plane, waiting to meet her son, knowing I wasn’t there for her when she was scared.

Enough with the sappy (I promise it won’t happen again for a while) – on to the meme!


The rules are as follows:

  • Link to the person who tagged you
  • Tag three random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs
  • Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs

Here are the questions (feel free to substitute the winter holiday of your choice & to add questions):

  1. What was the best Christmas present you got as a kid? Please. I’m of the generation where my parents waited in some crazy-ass line to purchase a Cabbage Patch Kid from Venture. (A bit of info about me: I have a Cindy-Crawford-esque beauty mark). My dad gave me one with a dimple colored in with a sharpie. The sad thing is that I actually believed it was a factory-defect until about six months ago.
  2. What was the best Christmas present you got as an adult? Brown Delux lip gloss. I love makeup, right, but the reason this is particularly special is because my then 11-year-old sister picked it out for me. Sure, she has a gifted sense of color, but as I was unwrapping it it, my mom whispered that she kept the receipt because she thought the color was hideous…even though it is the exact color I would select myself.
  3. What’s your favorite Christmas carol? Carol of the Bells – we sang it every year for concert choir in high school
  4. How long can you stand to listen to Christmas music before you break? Past Christmas itself as long as it isn’t Anne Murray or Amy Grant
  5. How many Christmas albums do you own? I don’t even know where that box is right now
  6. Did you ever go caroling as a kid? Every year with my church choir.
  7. Would you willingly eat fruitcake? Blech.
  8. Do you own any Christmas sweaters? No.
  9. Do you own any Christmas jewelry? What? Good god, no.
  10. Do you wear them? n/a
  11. Did your family have any Christmas traditions? Like what? Christmas dinner is from White Castle
  12. Do you buy Christmas presents for your pets? Don’t have pets, but I may or may not have bought something for the family dog this year
  13. What’s your favorite Christmas cookie? Divinity – wait, is that considered candy?
  14. What’s your favorite Christmas candy? My mother’s peanut butter fudge – maybe that’s considered a cookie. Whatever.
  15. What’s your stocking look like? Red fake furry one with my name painted on it.
  16. How do you feel about the “Steal from Your Neighbor” Christmas present game (the one where people pick gifts from a pile, but others get to steal it)? Heard of this, but I don’t remember ever playing it.
  17. What is the oldest ornament on your tree? Please – like any of that is unpacked.
  18. Real or artificial? Artificial.
  19. How do you feel about Christmas letters? Why is it necessary to hear how you are overburdening your children with needless activities?
  20. Do you have Christmas decorations or lights outside your house? What are they? Nope.
  21. How far would you drive to see Christmas lights? A couple of hours. I love a good road trip.
  22. Are you a fan of tasteful or tacky? Both. I’m bipolar that way.
  23. Do you have any Christmas collections? Not much of a collector.

I tag Renee, Deb & Jill (you won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t participate, though).

ETA: My sister is officially over him, now.  Thank goodness for the vestigue of sanity left in her.